Ohhh yeashhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Rustlers are bastards

I have sent a brief e-mail to rustlers to tell them how offensive the advert below is. Not that it will do any good. Bah!

How's this for a load of sexist crap??

Fuck off Rustlers for being sexiest bastards!
Yes, all us women need is 'warming up', it's a matter of skill to trick us into sleeping with men. We don't actually possess our own sex drive or needs that we choose to act on, no, we just need the 'right moves' pulled on us. It starts with an 'innocent' coffee but really men wish they could just cut to the chase and get us all to be simpering sex-ready pornbots.

Erika’s Book of the month: January

Woo Hoo a new feature.

I was wracking my brains to think up a new post that didn’t involve me telling you about being wound up by small minded and self absorbed people (oh dear, I’ve done it anyway) and I came up with this little gem.

YES. BOOK OF THE MONTH!!!!

This is my top pick of the books that I have read in the month. They won’t always be great because I do read some shit, but I’m starting with a good one.

The God of Small things By Arundhati Roy

There was a point in this book that I just couldn’t bear (bare? Not sure which) to read any more. I felt my heart break in two at the brilliantly written climax of this story. I cried a couple of actual tears.

Estha and Rahel are twins who are separated after a terrible event that caused sandal to their mother, Ammu. The story oscillates between the memory of the terrible event and the days leading up to it and their reunion years later.

This is a powerful narrative using amazing descriptions that take you to India. It is subtle but effective, you are taken back in time through the memory of an adult but who only remembers the world of the child.

You see the twins ‘than’ and ‘now’, the author does not have to point out obvious changes in them; the effects of the childhood trauma, you understand it, you feel it, not a word is wasted.

Metaphors stay with you after the book has ended.

A woman being dressed for an elaborate marriage ceremony to a man that will beat her; “like polishing firewood”.

Their grandfather’s burning rage that he did not get a moth named after him resurfaces in his descendants and ‘Pappachi’s Moth’ opens its wings in all their hearts from time to time.

This is a great book and I recommend it but it does come with a warning that it might make you cry! Not soppy crying, just a little sob as your heart breaks for two imaginary twins.

Half term

I haven't been posting for a few days due to half term and I have to think up new and interesting ways for my family to leave the house when it's cold and we have no money and no car. Still...the museum's nice, maybe no the 58th time but...ya know there's not much to do in Gloucester.
My oldest stayed at his cousin's overnight which is a huge step for me to prise his hands off the apron strings. (bit of an anti-mother phrase that), not that I wear an apron.
I've been letting my head have a break as well, trying to avoid anything that will trigger a feminist rant (very hard, I know) 'cos I feel like I need to step back, take a deep breath and....relax!
Anywhoo happy pancake day. I'm not into all that Christian stuff about lent but it is a very good reason to eat loads of pancakes and maple syrup. YUM!
Hope to post something a bit more interesting next time.
Ho Hum...

I haven't posted this yet and I really should

If a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.
If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don’t rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you’re still hung up on, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don’t rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don’t rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don’t rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don’t rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don’t rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don’t rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don’t rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don’t rape her.
If your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not, and that he’s not your friend.
If your “friend” tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there’s an unconscious woman upstairs and it’s your turn, don’t rape her, call the police and tell the guy he’s a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it’s not okay to rape someone.
Don’t tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done/not done x.
Don’t imply that it’s in any way her fault.
Don’t let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he “got some” with the drunk girl.
Don’t perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, re-post it. It’s that important.

-Author unknown.

Valentine's day is BULLSHIT!

Valentine's day.
I hate it.
It's all bullshit.
11 years ago I was in hospital due to a horrible Valentine's day gone wrong and every year I think about that horrible day. There was a man involved.
Rob and I do not do Valentine's Day; we don't need to. We did at the start of our relationship and even up to last year I got him a card or a little something but this year we both said 'no' to all the pink crap. I thought I would be a tiny bit disappointed but actually I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief.
Everywhere I see people trying desperately to prove their relationdships are SO GREAT and WONDERFUL because the guy who treats them like shit for 364 days a year has bought them a huge teddy bear holding a heart or some sexaaaay pants (oh yeah, they're for her aren't they? 'Cos it's our Valentine's day wish to dress up like a hooker or a porn star and do a pole dance in our living rooms).
It's the day that the girls need proof that their man loves them. It's the day to make single people feel crap even if they have made a decision to be single rather than with somebody who will treat them worthless.
And what's with all this pink shit anyway?
Buy me a birthday present, tell me you love me everyday, treat me like a human being, love me because I'm hairy and fat and spotty (not despite it), love me for my mind, talk to me, read the feminist texts so that you understand the theory behind the fight, be a man; stand up for women's rights but DON'T DON'T buy me a love heart pillow with 'be mine' written on it and think it's ok for another year.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday Touchingly Naive. Here is a huge box of chocs...virtual of course but who knows...maybe one day I will buy this and invite you round Maia.

I’ve come for my reward

So…you’ve been a good girl and swallowed all their bullshit about what a woman should be. You’ve slimed and primped and primed and moisturised, plucked and rubbed and waxed, dyed your hair, your lashes, eyebrows and your bumhole, worn the make-up everyday, had a little boob job, kept up with fashion, tottered along on your high heels, short skirt, push-up bra, starve yourself everyday, go to the gym and pole dancing lessons, you give great blow-jobs and dress up in whatever you’re asked to, do a little performance, maybe for his friends, speak demurely, know a lot about shoes but nothing about cars, God, you’re so damn beautiful…

What is your reward for playing ball with the patriarchy?

Reward number one:

!!!!MEN WANT TO FUCK YOU!!!!!

However…They will get angry and resentful when you don’t want to fuck them. If you do fuck them you will be a whore or an easy lay. If you have a relationship with a man he may find himself wondering if you are fucking his friends, who all tell him all the time how much they want to fuck you. He may become possessive and jealous, not letting you out, undermining your confidence so you don’t fuck other men. He may tire of you when you start getting a little bit past your perky prime and find himself a new young version of what you were. No man will ever listen to a word you say or consider you to be intelligent; they are too busy thinking about fucking you. You will be considered a distraction or an attraction in any job you try to do.

Reward number TWO:

!!!!OTHER WOMAN WILL WANT TO BE YOU!!!!

So you will never be able to have a meaningful friendship with other women. Either they are pretty, like you, and you will always be in completion with each other or they will be non-pretty women who will be so mind numbingly jealous of your looks that they will be unable to treat you like a real person with thoughts and feelings; after all, what can you possibly have to feel sad about? And you can forget the feminists; they hate you for being the plaything of men. Married women will not want you around because their husbands will want to fuck you, single women will not want you around because the single guys they are trying to pull all want to fuck you.

Reward number three:

!!!!YOU CAN BE A MODEL!!!!

You’re in your prime, you’re gorgeous. That means that you will only EVER be older, uglier, fatter than you are now and there will be plenty of people who would be happy to see it happen. You’re going to have to work hard just to maintain an equilibrium. Dieting, work-outs, botox, surgery and then heaver and heaver make-up, more drastic surgery will follow. Don’t forget those breast implants that need replacing every 10 years (at least).

Dieing young and beautiful in a hotel room seems a really good option.

Bad Asda, Good Breastfeeding Supporter (trainee)

I've just come back from Asda, where I do most of my shopping.
In the baby aisle there was a huge display stand for Cow and Gate evil 'Follow-on' baby milk and the demon man juice that is 'Toddler milk'. This was defiantly a promotional stand and so was against the WHO code but as there was no baby milk (under 6 months) it was not against the UK law.
So I went and complained! It's my job!
I spoke to the manager and he said lots of sympathetic things. I pointed out he could have a breastfeeding promotion where they linked up with their healthy eating for kids range and TAKE DOWN THE COW AND GATE DISPLAY.
I think he might have agreed. He defiantly wants to hear from the local breastfeeding network.
I might not have changed a thing but if you are Asda in Gloucester and there is still the evil display up, go and complain that it is against the WHO code and their guidelines on the promotion of baby milk...maybe if there are loads of us something might be done.

Playmates don't grow old...they die alone in hotel rooms

Anna Nicole Smith is dead.
This is a woman who people HATE HATE HATE!
She lived the playboy bunny lifestyle and went searching for an OIL man (Old, Ill, Loaded).
On one hand she was extreamly successful; she was Playmate of the Year '93, she married a rich man who died soon after the marriage, she got some money (after a lengthy court battle), everybody knows her name!
One the other hand people hate her for being a gold digger, her son died at the age of 20, the press used her for a page filler every time she did anything and now she is found dead in a hotel room.
...Well, she was 39, past her Playmate expiry date.
She is another woman in a long line who conformed to all the male ideals of womanliness but ultimately got nothing from it but hate and a lonely death. The men hold all the cards in this game.

Domestic Violence in Gloucestershire

Maia sent me this link
Reading it makes my blood boil...and this is for why (as they say in these parts)...
"...a hard hitting message that domestic violence will not be tolerated in Gloucestershire....we will arrest perpetrators immediately...supported by Gloucester Rugby Club..."
Will you now?
A woman called the police when she was getting a beating from her partner recently in Gloucester; they turned up but, as they were good friends with the bloke and knew him to be an alright sort they left him to it. They played rugby together.
There were two young children in the house. The woman tried to get help but was failed but the very male dominated system. She was drunk and had broken a window so he was allowed to retaliate by hitting her so hard she sported a dark bruise for several weeks.
He's not been arrested. The incident is not even reported as domestic violence.
THAT'S how great Gloucestershire's DV response is.

You see, I think we have a fundamental problem with the menz here.
There is a strong blokey "You don't hit a women" thing going on in even the most Neanderthal of chaps and they will leap to your defense if you look pretty and quiet and girly and your bloke is swinging you about violently in a pub. They will intervene and stop him. Then they will sit around and pat themselves on the back and say things like "Those type of people give men a bad name"
But they are all on the same team, these menz, they all play the ownership game. See, that man was treating his woman badly so other men had to stop him. It's a bit like the veil debate; where is the woman's voice?
After the pub incident those men who intervened will go home and feel smug and like they are one of the good guys. That woman will be going home the same man; where else can she go? Did anyone take her to a refuge? Sit with her and help her contact people she could stay with? Solve the problem? No, the bad guy was sent packing...job done!

The trouble with any campaign aimed at the perpetrators of domestic violence is that you 'tar all men with the same stick' and that would never do would it?
Whenever we talk about male behavior we get plenty of women having to say "not you dear, you're not like that" to their partners or male friends. It seems that everywhere you look there are lots and lots of these good men, and women to back them up.
So who commits the violence? Who kills 2 women a week? Surly not the same man? A group of bad men?

Arhhh...no, I've got it...all men are good but it's the DRINK that makes them bad!
"Honest darling, I'd had too much to drink and I didn't know what I was doing. It will never happen again, I love you...you know that...I love you, need you, I think the world of you...I'll do anything for you" Sound familiar?
Stella is known as 'Wife Beater' in these parts because it's the drink that makes you an arsehole...not the slow erosion by the media of the idea that women are humans and not cattle lined up in a county fair? Not the increasingly pornified images we see EVERYWHERE? Not the consent feeling of disappointment in a man's breast that because he has not earned the big bucks his woman is not like the ones he watches in the pornos? He has to put up with fat Tracey from down the road and not have a playboy bunny...and look at her, she just won't make an effort for him. But every hole's a goal...eh lads?
Arh...when he's drunk he sees how hideous she really is...why does he put up with it? But it's all he's got...been doled out by the universe...she's probably sleeping with his mates anyway....now she's nagging...why won't she just shut up....SMACK!

Domestic Violence on This Morning

Yes, it's Domestic Violence week on This Morning with Phil and Fern.
They furrow their brows and put on their serious voices. "It's the biggest killer of women, it affects one in four of us" Fern says. Fern takes part in the injury mock-up campaign (Anna Friel is pictured above in the same campaign) and they slap on the make-up to make her look like she has a bruised eye.
"I'm lucky, I can take this off, but what about woman who have to stay indoors, hiding their injuries?" She asks "I feel very vulnerable having my picture taken close up"
"We want to reach as many women as possible" The campaigner says "Lots of women admire Fern and she can reach out to them and raise awareness of this terrible problem"
Her picture is put on a poster saying "what does it take for us to see it" (or something like that). Back to the studio and it's all furrowed brow, a helpline number and then....smiles back on, who wants to win ten thousand pounds?

Where, oh where, is the perpetrator? He is like an invisible, unstoppable force. DV is talked about like breast cancer; a disease women suffer from that needs to be treated; the woman has to come forward. All she needs is the information and to be reached by a campaign.
Erm...hello? Where is the campaign aimed at MEN? Why do the posters just say "Don't hit women, just don't" There is far too much emphasis on what the woman has to do. She's a doormat, she doesn't stand up to him...all she has to do is ASK for help.

How many women HAVE asked for help but have been left with a man who will beat then even more saying something?
This makes me want to spit, this stupid stupid blindness everybody has about WHO is doing the damage to women.
"It's the biggest killer of women" should be "MEN kill women. Women die at men's hands. More than anything else, MEN KILL WOMEN"

VERY CROSS!!!!!

I AM VERY CROSS!!!!!!!
SOMEBODY (male i guess) has changed the link from 'Diary of Barbie's worst enemy' to some horrible porn page.
I am sorry if anyone has clicked on it and been offended. Thank you to my anonymous commenter who told me about it.

Full moon on Imbolc...

...How wonderful!
I had a dream about going to the festival last night. In my dreams it is always a big mish mash festival; Glastonbury meets Big Green meets lots of free parties I have been to. I was packing a rucksack like I used to do before I had children - one set of ultra warm clothes, a few pants and a tent...that's all you need. Then halfway through I remembered I had two children and started packing little vests.
I am sure I can hear the jangle of the May bells only around the corner and then the long hot days will be here and I will sit in a field with other hippies once more.

What you see is what you learn

What a great clip of a little girl popping her toy doll on her back. I'm going back to basics with baby carrying and I thought I'd share these clips with you.